So after the ex and I parted ways I had to deal with a pretty vicious aftermath. The Indian community is very warm and giving at times, but at other times ... like after a separation ... it can be very cold and cruel. I got some nasty calls from "friends" asking me how I could let this happen ... when I'd go to community functions, auntieji's and uncleji's I knew my entire life wouldn't even acknowledge me. Dear friends would stop inviting me to get-togethers, one too many times I heard,"We're sooo sorry, we just thought you'd be really uncomfortable being the only single person there ..." My parents took my side, but I don't know -- there are times when a "oh I feel so sad for you beta" look needs to be put aside for a "You're my girl and I support you through Hell or high water! Lets go move the world!!!" What the f*** was this??? Are we really so primitive? Am I completely defined by my relationship status? Is it a sin to to be an unmarried woman while capable of child bearing?
There were dear friends who stood by my side ... gave me the love and support I needed. Unfortunately I was the first of the crew to suffer through the "D-word" ... so they really couldn't relate. I just felt very alone. The irony was that I wanted my marriage to end because I felt so alone ... and now I felt even more lonely than I ever thought possible. Maybe that's why I had my moment of weakness, and unfortunately this weakness had a name -- Atul (ahem -- names have been changed to protect the non-innocent and my anonymity) and even worse he was my ex's best friend ... (I think that's enough for now!!!)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Aftermath ...
Labels:
dating,
divorce,
indian,
indian community,
indian dating,
indian divorce,
shaadi,
single,
single indian
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Beta,
ReplyDeleteDon't worry! I'm on my second stupid journey called marriage, considering the next!
Peace in your heart are my wishes.....